Return to your first love

I would like to think that I am a morning person...and maybe some days I am, but I usually require about 5 minutes just to wake up. I don't drink coffee or anything; I just need 5 minutes to get going before I have a normal conversation.

I am blessed with my husband's early wake up time because he often gets Mataya in the mornings around 6:30ish and keeps her occupied until about 7:15 or 7:30 when she decides she needs her breakfast. After I feed her I usually play with her and eat my breakfast and so on. When she goes down for her first nap around 9ish my mind begins to go full speed with everything that I need to do! Most mornings I really try to get a quiet time/time in the Bible before I start checking off everything that needs to be done off my mental list that is already accumulating; however, today was one of those tough but good days.

Instead of taking time to read my bible or devotional (Jesus Calling - you need to read it if you haven't done so!), I started in on the tasks of the day and some fun projects I had waiting. Micah was home for the morning lifting weights in the garage. Around 10 he came in and Mataya woke up from her nap. I had felt a little guilty about not spending good time with the Lord, but I kept telling myself that one day didn't really matter...

Well, I started noticing that my heart/attitude was starting to get very grumpy and negative. When Micah came inside I snapped at him, and I just couldn't seem to get my joyful attitude back. All of the sudden I felt the Lord whisper to my soul, "Adrienne, don't I deserve your first fruits?"

I was taken aback because I was trying to make excuses in my brain..."well God I always give you my first fruits of the day, and I want to get stuff done during this nap because I need time for my projects"

Wow...

I realized how selfish that sounded...I felt God reply, "Adrienne, you are having the same attitude that Cain had."

Sigh...I was, wasn't I? I thought my time was more important than spending time with God, and it wasn't helping me at all anyways. I was getting grumpy and upset without God's peaceful presence starting my day.

I quickly asked Micah if I could take just 15 minutes to get right before I let the day go on, and he of course readily agreed to watch Mataya because he is an awesome husband.

I went to the other room and sat quietly before the Lord. What do you have to say to me Lord today?

"Return to your first love...Me"

Return to you? But I never left Lord...

"Come to me before you start going on all your activities and receive my love to fill you up for the day...you need my presence"

My heart ached with the realization once again that I need to return to my first love everyday, not just when I am in trouble or extremely happy. Thank you Lord for your gentle reminder that I need to return to you everyday.

God warns us in Revelation that we must not abandon the love we had for Him at first in Revelations 2:4-5: 

But I have this against you, that you have abandoned the love you had at first.  Remember therefore from where you have fallen; repent, and do the works you did at first. If not, I will come to you and remove your lampstand from its place, unless you repent.

Oh Lord, I repent that I did not give you the first fruits of my love this morning...thank you for your grace and forgiveness.

God Bless,

Adrienne Barclay